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Sunday, November 11, 2007
bitter bitter....
I know i haven't been blogging much of late...it's either nothing's been happening...or too much happened what i can't seem to put into words.

Much has happened really...for work, for my family, for me. Need to slowly comprehend and make sense of the things that has happened. I have many photos to upload actually...but lazy to do so....will do so when i'm in the mood ba...then i can do my usual photo commentary + blogging...heh...

so many people asking me questions.....i'm trying to answer all of you really. Give me some time...some answers i still can't find....some i already have.

So confused....with every person i talk to i get more confused...sometimes i wish life is simple. But people make things complicated don't they? I really didn't think too much this time round...but when people start bombarding me with questions...it just forces me to think. Do i really have to? Can i just follow what i feel like doing?

I know i'm known to be a rational person...always weighing my pros and cons before acting. But sometimes i do wish things were simpler...cos sometimes by weighing the pros and cons...i still cant get my desired answer. In these cases....just follow my intuition?

I wish i could live my own life...but everyone just seems to want a slice of it...wanna help me decide on wat i should do. Why not help me live my life? That would make things easier really. I'm sounding abit bitter i know...but that's exactly how i feel. I don't seem to have much choice the way people are saying things to me....and i'm trying my best to not burst, or explode.

So complicated...why do i have to please everyone. I cant please everyone...i have to "de zui" someone in the process cos everyone thinks differently. What if the "someone" happens to be people close to me? What would i do? What shall i do?

People say im too soft-hearted...people close to me know me best. But they're also the ones who like to take advantage of this...knowing that i'll listen to them. Sometimes i do it at my own expense....i wonder if it's worth it.

I don't want to be forced into doing something i dont wanna do. But we cant seem to reach a compromise. I'll just have to take one step at a time. And everyone's waiting to see....waiting to find out what's my next step. Damn. Leave me alone....

Darling...xing hao you ni zai...wo cai bu hui gu dan...
allie ♥ 8:08 PM
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