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| Monday, September 26, 2005 |
What Kind of Food Are You? |
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| allie ♥ 11:17 AM | ||
| Saturday, September 24, 2005 |
I really hate myself sometimes..... I hate myself for being so careless........ I hate myself for knowing something will happen yet i never do anything about it..... I hate myself for not going all the way in confronting a person.... I hate myself for being so down on luck...... I hate myself for all the bad things that always happen to me at the wrong time.... I hate myself for allowing such things to happen.... I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself Period. |
| allie ♥ 9:42 PM |
| Wednesday, September 21, 2005 |
     so many wants....no $$....too many birthdays this month. I'm on a shopping ban till 1st October...sighhhhh |
| allie ♥ 7:00 PM |
| Monday, September 19, 2005 |
Fuck you....my dear roommate.... Fuck you for coming into my life when it's perfectly normal and fine.... Fuck you for using my things from the 1st day you entered.... Fuck you for using all MY things without asking for my permission.... Fuck you for using MY things without telling me..... Fuck you for treating MY room as your own, MY bed as yours, MY table as yours, MY clothes rack as yours, MY hangers as yours..... Fuck you for taking EVERYTHING of mine.....my dustbin, my toilet paper(took it from my little corner), my dishwashing liquid, my kettle..... Fuck you for singing stupid indian songs damn loudly while tapping your elephant feet and banging your hand on the DAMN table........ Fuck you for stinking up my room.... Fuck you for dirtying my toilet and bathing cubicle......... Fuck you for not sweeping the floor, cleaning up the toilet and the bathing cubicle.......... Fuck you for using my bed.......(mind you, i can smell the difference) Fuck you for all the above once again..... DAMN it. This Is the last straw. Day one you came in and put your stuff on my bed and treat it as if it's yours...even when I was on the bed myself. You came in and used my bookshelf, MY clothes rack (which is now strewn with your undies - note that alvin), MY dustbin (when you had your own). All this without asking for permission, nor telling ME about this. Who do you think you are. This is MY room and you intruded into it...at LEAST have the decency to be nice about it. Fuck You....for using all my stuff without telling me. Well, perhaps you dont have money to buy your own. But have the DECENCY to tell me BEFORE, or AFTER. Oh well, if you dont have money, at least you can speak right.....i know that from all the darn indian songs that you sing everyday while stamping your feet and banging the table. My sponge, dishwashing liquid, and new rolls of toilet paper all have your imprint on it......and i just found out....that my kettle was used by you too. It's kinda weird when i left my room on friday with an empty kettle and an empty jug, to come back with my jug full with water, and the water's WARM. Amazing huh....unless there's been some divine intervention, im pretty sure i know who's been using my stuff. DAMN you. I know i said hi to you the first day i met you. I know i told people that you were nice. You WERE....till you used all my stuff and intruded into my personal space. I AM declaring WAR right now. I wished i had locks to lock up all my stuff. Good thing my laptop has a personal code, if not i wouldnt know what will happen to it. FUCK you again. I can't stand the way you kept treating everything as it's yours. I know the room's partly yours.....but it does NOT include everything that belongs to me that lies within it. I do not wish to be hostile or anything like that.....but i guess i dont have a choice. STOP using my things and you shall survive....if not, i will make your life as good as hell. And Damn....i will keep to that......... |
| allie ♥ 12:23 PM |
| Sunday, September 18, 2005 |
| allie ♥ 1:38 PM |
| Saturday, September 10, 2005 |
I barely slept yesterday...but i couldn't sleep now...even when i want to... Stayed up to finish a report yesterday...no idea why i took on that responsibility when i was completely aware that i wouldnt have time to do that...... Ended up sleeping late..... And waking up darn early today......... Left me tired throughout the day........ But dunno why i just couldnt sleep now....even when i want to........ Just let me sleep please...............i want to clear my mind........ Dun wish to think of anything right now...............i just wanna sleep..... |
| allie ♥ 12:51 AM |
I cry easily...and once the tap is turned on, it never stops. I wonder why. At this rate, crying 4 times a week....it's getting a little overbearing and it's having a negative effect on my mood, motivation and confidence level. I admit that i'm extremely upset these days. Even small little things never fail to upset me. Take for example today. An internship administration cockup freaked me out for more than 2 hours even after the problem was solved and this eventually reduced me to tears. I have no idea how the tears ran but it just did as i was sleeping on the train. I didn't feel anything then, i wasnt thinking about anything then..........my tears just ran.....and ran....and ran..... Had a rough week really. Anything that could go wrong went wrong for me. But im seriously not in the mood to repeat the events again......in fear of accidentally turning on the tap. All i want these days is just a BIG hug from my dear bearie and for him to tell me not to worry and that he will be there for me. He's been soooo patient with me really throughout this whole week. This must have been the worst week of my life ever. I had never screwed up my life as i did in the past week. I hate to be reminded...but here i am once again reminding myself of the events that happened. Shit....i refuse to recollect, or go through that entire thought process again. For the past week, i went to class, trainings, meetings, and whatever social arrangements i had with a moody face, a tired face, a resigned face. I wasn't ready to face the world and i didnt want to face it. But i had to, and was thrown into the entire mess which was created just for me. I had no one to turn to....no one could save me. I could only drown into the deep deep mess...... I wish i could just close my door, lay on my bed and cry my heart out.....but that would make me feel more miserable.... I wish i had a bear to hug......here, now. I cant control it anymore.......it's coming again.... |
| allie ♥ 12:28 AM |
| Saturday, September 03, 2005 |
This left me laughing my head off man. It started when we were talking about a SWOT analysis on Alvin....and he couldnt find much strengths...cept for the fact that he's simple-minded. Yes i agree that he is.....he's the most plain and simple person i know. So pure, so real......it's hard to teach him to be devious sometimes...haha. However, this made me realise how low his self esteem is. He does have LOADS of strengths really. The list is as follows: -Sociable -Responsible -Humourous -Nice! -Egoless -Humble -Easygoing -Leader -Thoughful? (debatable...refer to quote above!!) He does have weaknesses too.... -Too nice ( easily exploited) -Vain! -Low self-esteem -Easily distracted -Stubborn -Impulsive Opportunities -Need to be more focused -Can be more caring -Can be more thoughtful -Can put niceness to good use! Threats -Impulsiveness can lead to bad decisions -Stubbornness can lead to lack of an open mind -Can be exploited if too nice -Low self-esteem....difficult to look on the bright side after being put down Oh well.....bearie's really low on self-esteem so i just hope those who know him dont put him down too often k? HE has a fragile little mind...even though he looks like a bear on the outside...hehe. He's a gentle little bear!! |
| allie ♥ 11:01 PM |
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